Saturday, August 29, 2009

Redheads drive me crazy, but ask a woman in your life. Is there such thing as an attractive ginger man? I didn't think so.

OK so I'm drunk. I'll put that out there right away so that if someone wakes up in the morning and sees wisdom in pulling this down they can do it and I won't have any hard feelings. Sound good? Great.

I don't even know where to begin on Edmonton's summer. The whole Heatley trade? I really do tend to have little to no complaints about bringing in a guy with Dany's skillset - in fact I have often thought that even a past prime Brendan Shanahan could pot 30+ on Hemsky's opposite wing - but to then, while the trade is leaked, drag it on for more than a month whilst the owner of a hall of fame OT goal scoring stick, the pride of Winkler MB (and believe me, I know some impressive people from that town), and Tommy Albelin's heir wait on pins and needles? Not a great situation. Good god, how long was that sentence?

The fact that there is still a gaping hole at centre? Fuuuuuuuuuuck. You ever come home from the bar, drunk as fuck, pull out your keys, and then proceed to chip the paint in your door all around but nowhere near the actual keyhole? Have you ever gotten drunk and tried to have sex in exactly the same style? The Edmonton Oilers have, we're the poor woman begging for a merciful ending and Mike Comrie is their giant headed shorter than average Hilary Duff fucking dick. I mean really Edmonton, REALLY? This is your answer? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

The one thing I will say in favour of the Oilers heading into 09/10 is that their top 4 D look perfectly legitimate. If 3/4 of them stay healthy and things go as planned, it's a perfectly playoff happy defense that Edmonton has put together. Package one of these guys for a Cheechoo type and you're robbing Peter to pay Paul or whatever that saying is supposed to mean. You're not getting Jarome Iginla for Tom Gilbert or Sheldon Souray. Three out of six D being above average does not win you a playoff series. Do you see the problem?

Speaking of problems, Nikolai the Winnipeg fucking Jet Khabibulin? I've been to a Jets game (that the Oilers won), I've got a fucking degree, I'm going for a second one, and I still don't remember which girl's hair I threw sand in the year he was drafted. Four years? As confusing to me as the time I found out the hot redhead Jim dated on The Office is 35.

Where is this team going?


Blogger Lowetide said...

The entire post is terrific, but that sentence in there about the dick passed beyond simple words. Right up there with "get out the shine box, Robbie!"

8/29/2009 10:55 am  
Blogger PDO said...

Wow am I glad I stopped by here today.

8/29/2009 4:06 pm  
Blogger matt said...

Fuck you - I am an attractive ginger man. But everything else was bang on. No pun intended.

8/29/2009 8:25 pm  
Blogger Black Dog said...

Amen to the redheads brother.

As for the rest if it? Brilliant!

And the Oilers are fucked.

8/30/2009 10:18 am  
Blogger mc79hockey said...

I think "Drunk Oilers Fans" would be an excellent idea for a blog. The only rule would be that you always have to be shitfaced when posting. Like Schremp, in that interview he just did.

8/30/2009 11:32 am  
Blogger HBomb said...

If anyone is going to start the drunk Oilers blog, I think it would be me. Someone come up with a creative name (something that sounds like a bar name, preferably), and I'll totally do it. Posting privileges to be given out to anyone who likes "the sauce".

Redheads drive me crazy, but ask a woman in your life. Is there such thing as an attractive ginger man? I didn't think so.

Fuck yourself with a rubber fist. That is all.

8/30/2009 4:43 pm  
Blogger Moneypuck said...


We also would need a douche to be a contributor in that blog for loser, anonymous posters to say fuck off to.

8/30/2009 9:10 pm  
Blogger kris said...

Fuck off Moneypuck!


8/31/2009 2:49 pm  
Blogger PDO said...


Ever been to Goodfellow's?

Either way, I'm down ;).

9/01/2009 1:38 am  
Blogger Showerhead said...

Haha wow, that was a fun night. Thanks for the comments guys, even from the ginger men in the crowd. You can rest assured that an informal poll of several gorgeous women I work went pretty well for you and your kin.

I've got one of my best drinking buddies in the city for the weekend. We're off to spend some quality time with a few of our other best buds, notably Alexander Keith.

9/04/2009 6:35 pm  
Blogger Bruce said...

You can rest assured that an informal poll of several gorgeous women I work went pretty well for you and your kin.

Several gorgeous women you work?


9/09/2009 1:03 am  
Blogger Showerhead said...

gracious. work WITH. several gorgeous women I work with. at a university, not a brothel.

9/10/2009 12:02 am  
Blogger Jim Philips said...

I have to admit that everybody can have some awesome posts when they are drunk and I work better in the price per head free trial.

5/30/2013 11:05 pm  

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