Saturday, August 21, 2010

Sh*t that could go either way

Sometimes when we're drinking and we don't want to get too hammered we play a card game called Asshole. You've got the president and vice-president at the top running things and of course you've got the vice-asshole and the dreaded Asshole having to put up with shit on the bottom. I feel like seeing as I've played it with people in 3 provinces it's a common enough game to expect people my age to know it.

The one difference? Wild cards. Some people just use 2's, some people use 2's and then 3's which are even better than 2's, some people bring jokers into the mix. You add enough wild cards and things can get batshit crazy in an awful hurry, or at least they appear this way through the lens of a drunk 25 year old.

The entire Edmonton roster is a pile of wild cards. Even if you presuppose (yes, a drunk guy just said presuppose) Horcoff-Hemsky-Penner as the top line and fill in from there, just about every player could go a few ways. Horcoff might be hurt or he might have peaked or he may have had one good year offensively but can still handle the toughs. Hemsky could play 2 or 22 or 70 games. Penner could be Mahovlich or he could be fat.

Can anyone confidently say which of Eberle/Omark/Paajarvi will make the team? Which ones will get minutes? Which ones will be turnover machines and which will learn to tread water by season's end? Who the fuck will play defense or stop pucks on this team? It used to be that people would say "if X, Y, and Z, Edmonton will make the playoffs" and then smart people would point out that 50% X 50% X 50% = fuck right off but Edmonton's 2010/2011 roster could lap the algebraical alphabet without offering clarity. God bless Lowetide for trying but to me this year's Oilers are looking a lot like Lady Gaga: an awful lot like a 6 or 7 and all sorts of other crazy shit that, like her, could go either way.


Blogger Vic Ferrari said...

Yeah, the list of things that need to go right is pretty long. They'll need a bunch of them to happen, and lady luck is going to need to lend a hand as well, on a day by day basis.

That's a lot to ask.

For all the praise that Tambellini has received this summer, his team will start the season with a weaker roster than twelve months previous. I don't think they have a hope in hell of outchancing the bad guys on the whole.

A lot of Oilers fans love prospects, for them it's exciting I suppose. I see the prospects fetish much like I see sexual fetishes. Whether it's feet, urination, cellulite, or smoking. I understand that a lot of people are into these things. I try not to judge (but I do a bit). It's not my cup of tea, and it never will be.

I'm a bit curious to see who the prosperasts will blame when the youngsters fail to live up to impossible expecations. Beyond that I have no interest in the fetish.

Lowe and Tambellini have bought themselves at least a couple more years at the helm by convincing ownership to go the rebuild route. And the bad haircuts will continue until there are better barbers running the shop. So I'm fairly indifferent about the Oilers right now.

I'm waiting for better days under better management. It's a passive process.

You should read Black Dog's recent stuff on the summit series, though, Showerhead. Him, DeBakey and Julian are on fire.

9/05/2010 1:02 pm  

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